


Mending Offenses

by seiko_udoku (Halcyon_Fairy)



Series: Mending Offenses [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Non cannon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-10-13 15:39:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17490677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halcyon_Fairy/pseuds/seiko_udoku
Summary: What will Severus Snape do when Hermione Granger is dropped in his lap? He could allow her to be harmed by another, crueler death eater, or he could take the task upon himself and jeopardize both is position as a spy and his soul.





	1. The Capture of Hermione Granger

**Author's Note:**

> This will be at least two separate works. This is part one and part two will be post war.

Bile rose in Severus' throat as he walked into the Malfoy drawing room. The Dark Lord had sport today and Severus would know that wild mess of curls anywhere. Hermione Granger lay sprawled on the floor by The Dark Lord's feet.

  
Judging by the unnatural bend of her arms and legs and how she held perfectly still save the panicked movement of her eyes, he'd say she'd been subjected to a full body-bind. Her eyes finally landed on him and she closed her eyes in what looked to be relief. Foolish girl, she'd be cursing his name by the end of the night. If she makes it through the night.

  
Forcing a sneer to his lips, he pried his eyes away from the girl to look at Lucius. “Who caught this treat for our lord?”, he asked with disdain. With a smirk that almost looks more like a grimace, Lucius replied, “The snatchers brought her with Potter and his ginger sidekick, though unfortunately she shoved a portkey in to the boys' hands just as we were separating them.”

  
Many questions are on the tip of his tongue, but the meeting will be called to order in a moment and Severus has no wish to draw the lord's ire. As the skeletal man calls them to order from the front of the room, Severus eyes the girl again assessing her current health. She looks half starved, on the edge of panic, and in need of a wash, but not too bloodied up yet. The night is young however.

  
“My children we have a new toy to play with today. Harry Potter's mudblood whore has decided to grace us with her presence!”, the megalomaniac cackles and his henchmen share nervously in his laughter for they know his mood could change at any moment. “Who among you would like to put this trash in it's place?” he asks with glee.

  
Severus knows if he hesitates too long, she'll be given to someone who will draw her torture out much further, but if he seems too eager it will be suspect. He's built a reputation among the death eaters as a man more interested in knowledge and power than torture or women. Before he has decided his plan of action Bellatrix skips forward and takes his choice away. He'd be damned if he let that twisted bitch destroy such a brilliant mind.

  
Before the bint can utter a word, Severus' smooth baritone rings out across the ballroom, “My Lord? If I may be so bold to ask this boon, I would like to have the girl for myself.” Voldemort cocks his head and considers him as Lestrange scoffs in the background. “You've never asked for a pet before Severus. What makes this one special?”

  
Breathing evenly and forcing his carefully crafted hatred of Harry Potter to the forefront of his mind for Voldemort to peruse, he states “I never could get my hands on Potter, but I'm sure his knowing I have his girlfriend will disturb him to say the least.” He arches an eyebrow at Granger and purrs, “I may even award you the coveted praise you always desired from me.” Then, with faux thoughtfulness, “Though I sincerely doubt you have much to offer.”

  
With a smirk Voldemort ushers him forward to more easily converse. “Come Severus. Is your interest solely in striking back at Potter or is it more in favor of replacing the first mudblood?” Forcing himself not to flinch, he lets his disgust show. Re-purposing his true emotions to create a worthy deception, Severus then slips into his mask of arrogance and says “I no longer have interest in any of their kind. Any I showed before, was that of a callow youth.”

  
As he withdraws from Severus' mind, he holds his gaze. “Very well. You may have this gift my loyal servant.” Just as Severus is about to breath an internal sigh of relief at how easy that was he adds, “As soon as the others finish with her, of course.”


	2. The Beginning of torture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the horribly long wait.

After a bit of posturing and arguing, Rowle won the honor of having the Granger girl first. It could have been much worse in Severus' opinion. At least she was getting warmed up before any of the Lestrange's or the other truly bloodthirsty sink their fangs into her.

 

Rowle circled her slowly as he rattled on to the girl about how she was lower than the dirt under his feet, how she was the problem with their society, etc... Severus honestly wasn't paying attention as he heard them all say this spiel to every victim.

 

Severus fought to maintain his facade of nonchalance as Rowle threw hex after hex at the girl. If all the death eaters take a turn at her, there might not be anything left inside the shell of her worth rescuing. Rowle finished up a slicing hex to her shoulder with a flourish and stepped back for Macnair to take his place.

 

Macnair didn't waste words on the girl, not that he was a man of many words, the great violent brute. He started with a viscious stinging hex and ended with a mild cruciatus, which was about the extent of his creative capability. Several more death eaters took their turn until the moment Severus had dreaded.

 

When Bellatrix stepped forward, Severus had to remind himself not to react. She wasted no time in binding the girl and climbing atop her. She then grabbed the girl's face and looked her in the eye while she crucioed her far more effectively than Macnair had.

 

As the girl's screams quieted down into whimpers, Bellatrix cooed in her ear “Oh. There, there, poppett. Hush now, it's not so bad. YET.” Severus did his best to objectively collect the information of what was occurring before him without letting his conscious mind think on it. There would be time for that later. With much fire whiskey involved.

 

Severus watched on with a bored expression as the mad bitch removed three of Granger's fingernails while giggling like a child opening a pressie. He observed every wound inflicted upon the girl so that he might later help to remedy them. By the time The Dark Lord called for her to stop, Granger was barely conscious and the hoarse whimpers coming from her were barely recognizable as human.

 

“Now” The Dark Lord said, “It's your turn Severus. I can't wait to see the show you'll give.”

 


	3. The Rape Of Hermione Granger

Steeling himself, Severus walked up to the girl. He knew what kind of “show” The Dark Lord required of him. He was loathe to harm the girl in this one final way, but if he didn't she may be killed and that he was simply not willing to allow.

 

As her eyes landed on him, her fear seemed to abate, foolish girl. Her eyes drifted closed almost as if she thought “Ah. Now I'm safe” He wanted to laugh at the injustice of it. How he wished he could spare her. Did she not realize how utterly fucking powerless he was?

 

As her eyes opened back up he reached for the placket of his trousers while surreptitiously aiming a charm at himself to cause an erection. Her eyes widened and he knew she finally understood that he wasn't the salvation she had hoped for, but instead of watching her hope and trust die like he anticipated, she seemed to steel herself for what was to come.

 

What a brave little lioness. Even after all they had done to her, here she was ready to endure yet more undeserved pain. Severus willed his emotions to stay in check as he undid the many buttons of his trousers and then flicked a slicing hex at the girl's clothes, causing her to flinch.

 

He couldn't be gentle, not here with them all watching, but he could at the least make it quick. Grabbing her partially torn blouse, he used his hands to tear it from her. He then tugged her ripped jeans down her legs and, without pausing, entered her with one quick thrust.

 

She didn't cry out as he had expected, but tears rolled quietly down her face instead. He set himself to a viscous pace which both pleased the other death eaters and meant he wouldn't have to touch her as much as if he went slower. The sooner it was over the sooner he could get her out of here.

 

As soon as he ejaculated he shoved himself away from her, not bothering to hide his disgust. He straightened his clothes and then stepped over Granger, kicking her with much less force than it looked like, before joining the circle of other death eaters. The meeting was monotonous and lengthy.

 

When it was finished The Dark Lord didn't keep Severus as long as he might have anticipated. Severus convinced him to let him take the girl back alive, so as to keep Dumbledore's trust. After his private talk with The Dark Lord, Severus gentle lifted Hermione Granger and disapparated with a small pop.

 


	4. Mending The Flesh Wounds

The moment Severus popped into existence in his debilitated home at Spinners End, he sprang into action. Thanking small mercies that Granger was unconscious, he laid her as gingerly as possible on his ill used sofa. He ran a quick medical scan over her cursing all the while and then wandlessly summoned his medkit.

 

Deciding to start with the most life threatening wounds first, he removed what was left of her torn shirt and cast _Vulnera Sanentur_ over her bloodied torso where Mulciber had hit her with a lung piercing hex. After what seemed an eternity, her breathing evened out and her wheezing lessened. 

 

He then moved on to where Macnair had sliced her from the base of her neck on the right side to the edge of her left breast. This laceration intersected the one she earned from Dolohov in the Department of Mysteries. He dabbed a liberal amount of dittany on the wound hoping it wouldn't scar.

 

He methodically treated her injuries, covering as much of her skin as he could with his Mum's old fleece throw. His emotions were trying to show through now that they were out of the viper's pit as it were. He was torn between nausea and crushing guilt, but knew that he needed to rein himself in and stay focused on treating the girl. He could castigate himself later.

 

Just as he was about to treat her hand that Bellatrix had removed the nails from, she started to stir. He held his breath as her eyelids fluttered open. Emotions flicked quickly over her face as she came to. She seemed confused to see the Potions Master leaning over her and then she tensed. He waited for her to shrink back from him or berate him for what he had done to her in the name of “helping her”, but neither reaction seemed forthcoming. 

 

As she realized the other Death Eaters were no longer present her body relaxed once more. She tried to speak only to rasp out a harsh cough. Severus dropped her hand and sat back on his heels keeping his hands and wand where she could see them.

 

“I'm afraid you'll not be able to speak until your lung finishes healing. I estimate another two hours or so. I'm afraid I can't give you anything to drink until then, but if you'd like you can swish some warm water to rid yourself of the blood in your mouth.” Realizing he was rambling like a nervous first year Severus trailed off.

 

Granger nodded her head weakly at the suggestion and so he summoned a glass. He tried to allow her to take it from him, but quickly realized she hadn't the strength. Breathing deeply, he braced himself for her possible reaction to his touching her, but she only gave him a small smile of gratitude.

 

After she had swished her mouth multiple times he  _ evanesco'd _ the bright pink water and laid her back down on the couch. “I know you must be loathe to have me touch you after what has occurred tonight, but you have more wounds to tend to and I can neither take you to Poppy or bring her here as you're not fit for travel and this location is secret kept.” He said regretfully.

 

Granger's response was to look indignant and cough some more, which only served to make him feel even more guilty. He backed away to show her that he had no intentions of touching her against her will only to have her forcefully pull him toward her by the wrist. 

 

Severus was so incredulous that he let her manhandle him and almost toppled forward onto her before catching himself on the back of the couch. “Are you trying to give me permission to treat your injuries?” he asked disbelievingly to which she gave an emphatic nod.

 

Severus treated her various visible superficial injuries first, all the while informing her of what he was doing, until all that were left were the parts he was dreading. Summoning an old Van Halen shirt, he handed it to her. “You have a cracked rib, a cut on your inner thigh, and.....” He trailed off, looking away. 

 

He was a grown man, he shouldn't find it difficult to voice the injury that he himself had caused. Nevertheless, he opened and closed his mouth several times before Granger took pity on him and wheezed out what could have only meant “I know.”

 

He cleared his throat he said “Well next I'll heal your rib, but I'll have to touch you for the healing charm to be effective” to which she nodded. He placed a shaking hand on her side and cast the healing charm once again. And then he hesitated once again. He knew she wouldn't want him to touch her thigh and he couldn't blame her.

 

However, before he could have a panic attack over whether he should touch he in such an intimate place or not, she gently clasped his hand and gave it a small squeeze. This drew him out of his self loathing long enough for him to realize she was being more mature about this than he was. She was the one in pain, not him, and if she wanted him to heal her he would.

 

His shaking fingertips ghosted over her thigh as the essence of dittany caused the wound to close with a hiss. He then summoned a separate box that he'd not needed to use nearly as often. He wordlessly handed her a vile of green potion. She read the label and upended it without hesitation and he placed the empty contraceptive back into the small wooden box and removed a jar containing a thick honey-like substance.

 

“This....Is for your remaining injuries. You may apply it yourself if you think you can manage.” he managed to say quietly. He was very grateful when she took the jar from him. His legs protested as he finally stood from his position on the floor. He informed her that he was going to owl Dumbledore about their return, only for her to rise frantically from the couch shaking her head.

 

“Are you asking me to not inform Dumbledore of our return?” He asked incredulously to which she calmed and shook her head again. She then shocked him by performing wandless, wordless magic and summoned a quill and parchment.

 

After a moment of furious scribbling, she handed him a note which read “I appreciate your situation sir, but please don't tell anyone about what Voldemort made you do.” After a moment of shocked silence he asked “Why ever not Miss Granger? You are completely blameless, you have no need to feel shame over what I did to you. I assure you the headmaster will not blame you.”

 

Severus was barely done speaking before the parchment was snatched from his hand for her to write “It isn't the headmaster I worry about as much. This won't be good for your relationship with Harry or the rest of the order for that matter. Not only that, but this is personal and I feel I have the right to not share it with anyone, including Headmaster Dumbledore.”

 

He looked at Granger searchingly for a moment before replying “Very well. I will not inform the headmaster of my transgression, but I must inform him of your capture and torture.” To which she agreed with relief. After he was certain she was once again resting on the sofa, he left her to write the headmaster of his failure to rescue the gryffindor princess unmarred. 

 


	5. Can't wash it away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I have a lot going on right now and I'm not sure how often I'll write. Please just know that this fic isn't abandoned. I'm staying with my sister through the week to help with her children and don't have access to a computer there. Additionally I've just suffered the loss of a family member and was told I'm being laid off in six weeks.

After sending his owl, Ember, off to Dumbledore, Severus poured himself a healthy dose of firewhiskey and sat at his rickety kitchen table with the remainder of the bottle. He was roused from his staring contest with the peeling linoleum sometime later by Ember tapping on the window above his sink.

 

He stood and strode quickly to let her in. He took the letter from her and took a deep breath before unrolling the missive. Dumbledore was understandably upset at her treatment and expressed concern at his ability to care for her wounds without Poppy. The latter made Severus scoff. Surely Albus knew that Severus attended most of his wounds himself.

 

Though Severus had remained true to his word to Miss Granger, Albus seemed to question that more had not been done to the girl. It was logical that the Dark Lord would want to break her in every way imaginable. This would not be an easily kept secret. Severus downed the rest of his drink in one and went to check on the girl.

 

When he entered the room, he saw her sitting up and holding her side as if in pain. “Did I miss an injury?” He inquired quietly. She startled and swiped at her face and he noticed that she'd been crying. “No sir. My lungs are still a bit sore is all.” came her raspy reply.

 

“Would you like some pain reliever”, he asked while cursing himself for not checking on her sooner. “That would be lovely, thank you.” She answered as she eased back on the sofa a bit. He accio'ed the potion and stepped forward to hand it to her as she peered at him curiously. When she didn't speak he asked wearily “what is it Miss Granger?”

 

She looked sheepish and replied, “I'm sorry sir. You just never struck me for the type to drink, not that students know their professors personal lives”. He snorted and sat in the lounge chair. “I only drink after particularly gruesome meetings” he admitted quietly to which she made a soft sound of sympathy. His eyes flew to her face in suspicion. He had no idea why he had admitted that, nor why she would care about his coping habits. For fucks sake, she had been through an atrocity he had never suffered.

 

He cleared his throat nervously and looked away from her. “You should get some sleep Miss Granger. Would you like a sleeping drought?” He asked. She shook her head and laid down. “I don't think it's necessary.” She yawned out. He watched in shock as she closed her eyes and within minutes her breathing had deepened. He had no clue as to how she could relax so much in the presence of her assailant, but it warmed him that she didn't seem to fear him overmuch.

 

After he set wards to alert him if she awoke, he went up the stairs for a shower. As the pipes spurted to life he tore his clothes off in disgust and began to slowly lower his occlumency shields. He had just stepped under the warm spray as the first wave of crushing guilt and sadness rushed through him. Within moments he was a sobbing mess upon the shower floor.

 

He scrubbed at his body roughly until the water had gone frigid and then lay spent heedless of the water pouring over his face and body. He didn't know how long he lay there, but was startled by his wards tripping. Not the ones on the girl, but the protective wards on his house.

 

He sprang into action and was racing down the stairs and buttoning his waistcoat at the same time almost missing a step in his haste. The girl startled awake at the noise he made and he held a finger to his lips as he disillusioned her. Not many people knew where his home was and he didn't want most of them near her.

 


	6. Unexpected Guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short mostly because I wasn't sure how to transition to Hermione and Cissy in the same chapter. I usually write both points of view, but thus far it's been mostly Sev. I'm heading to my sister's now, so it may be next weekend before I post again.

Severus was surprised when he opened the door to find Narcissa. She nervously pushed past him with the air of a woman on a mission. “Have you brought her here? She wasn't well enough to go to Hogwarts.” She said distractedly as she looked around.

 

Not answering her, Severus asked woodenly, “Why are you here Cissy?” “Oh, right.” She breathed and turned to him. “I know I'm not the best choice to care for her, but she would probably prefer a woman's touch to yours.”

Relaxing in the knowledge that the Dark Lord hadn't sent her, he guided her by the elbow to the small dingy kitchen. After shutting the door he decided against a muffliato since Granger would know they were talking of her and would probably not be pleased. He busied himself with putting on tea as he addressed her earlier comment.

 

“That may be so, but it's a bit late. I've already seen to all of her injuries and she'll be healed fully soon.” He said quietly to which she audibly scoffed. “You aren't serious are you Severus?” She asked indignantly. “She won't be fully healed for years, if ever.” She hissed. She softened when she saw him flinch.

 

“I know you meant physically, but she'll need more than bruise paste, darling.” She said as she accepted the cup of tea. Looking into the cup she continued softly, “Did you allow her to bathe and give her new clothes? If not I've brought some things for her.”

 

Severus winced at his obvious oversight. How could he think he needed to wash away his misdeeds more than the person he had tainted? Too ashamed to voice his answer he shook his head in the negative. Narcissa gave a look that screamed “I'd thought as much” and stood. “Show me to her” She said in a no-nonsense voice. 

 

As Severus stood to lead her into the living area, the door pushed open and an invisible Granger walked in. Severus disillusioned her and she looked at him with a question in her eyes. Knowing what she was asking, he nodded. “She won't harm you. You have my word.” 

 

All of the tension seemed to leech out of her as she turned to Cissy. Narcissa waved toward the door and said brusquely, “Well lets get you cleaned up, shall we?” Once left alone all Severus could do was pace and tidy the kitchen listlessly hoping he hadn't made a mistake.

 


	7. Can't lock it away

As the door to the kitchen snicked shut behind them, Narcissa called, “Lolly”. When the house elf popped into existence she ordered, “Go ahead of us and ensure the lavatory is in good order.” A bow and another soft pop and the elf was gone.

 

Turning to Hermione, Narcissa made a face and said, “Severus is a bachelor after all and no self respecting lady would want to bathe in there without it cleaned first.” Pausing and eyeing her critically she asked, “Did he heal all of you physical injuries?”

 

At Hermione's wary nod, Narcissa gestured for her to go up the stairs before her. They passed two other doors as Narcissa directed her to the end of the hall. Inside was a small, functional bathtub, toilet and sink with no mirror. With a few elegant flicks of her wand, Narcissa increased the size of the room and tub, brought a small chair, and affixed a mirror above the sink.

 

From inside the bag she carried, Narcissa pulled out two plush towels, various bottles, and a set of robes in a lovely dove gray shade. As she lined these up on the small sink counter, she flicked her wand and the tub started to fill. She dumped three vials into the water and a calming scent filled the air, the water took on a purplish hue, and bubbled began to form.

 

As she turned toward the door Narcissa said briskly over her shoulder, “I'll step out to give you privacy to undress, I'll return when you're in the tub.” Still in a state of shock, Hermione complied quickly and without looking in the mirror, slipped into the warm water with a hiss of equal parts pleasure and pain.

 

A moment later there was a soft knock on the door and when Hermione didn't answer, Mrs. Malfoy let herself back in. Hermione was torn between fear and acceptance of this woman's help. How could she trust her? She is a death eater's wife and her childhood bully's mother.

 

As she settled herself on the chair, Hermione observed her under her lashes. She seemed a bit less composed today than any other time she'd caught a glimpse of her at Hogwarts or Kings Cross. Perhaps a Death Eater's wife could feel remorse, or pity.

 

After the silence had stretched on for a few minutes with Mrs. Malfoy staring at some spot on the floor, she finally lifter her head and asked quietly, “Do you know occlumency?” Surprised, Hermione was unsure how to answer. If she were asking so that she could speak freely, she would tell the truth, but she could be asking to report back to Voldemort. 

 

After giving her a searching look, Hermione nodded slowly. Mrs. Malfoy let out a relieved sigh and some of the tension left her body as she began to speak again. “I've taken an extreme risk in coming here and I don't make it a habit of taking risks that could harm my family. I understand if you don't trust me, but I want to help you. You'll need to be prepared when you go back to Hogwarts.”

 

“I'm not planning on telling anyone if that's your concern.” Hermione replied. At this Mrs. Malfoy gave her a look of such pity she knew the words that would come next. “You should tell your friends yourself, before the child of one of the inner circle does.” 

 

When Hermione did not readily react, Narcissa became suspicious. “Miss Granger, how long have you been occluding?” With the same dull eyes that Narcissa had previously attributed to shock, Hermione replied, “Since I was take, of course.” 

 

Shocked, Narcissa replied “That is most unhealthy after a trauma such as yours. You must drop your shields soon, and slowly, or it will continue to compound inside your mind until it drives you mad.” When this was met with silent indifference, she sighed and said “Well let's get you washed up and out of the bath.” 

 

With a small flick, Narcissa reheated the cooling bath water and then opened a vial and poured a thick creamy potion into her hand. “I'd like to wash your hair, if that's alright”, She said. When Hermione didn't answer she took it for the permission it was and began to lather the sweet smelling concoction into her hair.

 

They didn't speak much more as Narcissa shampooed, conditioned, lotioned, and potioned Hermione into a relaxed and comforted puddle. After she was dressed in the robes that Narcissa brought, Hermione sat in front of the mirror as Narcissa styled her hair.

 

Her hair had never been so beautiful, even at the yule ball. It fell in soft ringlets down her back, with no frizz in sight. When that was finished Narcissa led Hermione back to the sitting room where they found Snape pacing like a caged animal. He looked up as the stairs creaked and stared as the women made their way down.

 

Narcissa turned to Hermione and kissed her cheek, whispering, “I hope to meet the real you next time.” She then turned to Severus and said, “Her shields need to come down, and soon.” before stepping into the flew and vanishing.

 

Severus turned in confusion and looked at Miss Granger and then it clicked. She hadn't flinched away from him at the revel nor any time here in his home. She hadn't shown any great amount of pain, nor fear, from any of the suffering she endured. Mentally, Severus cursed himself. He should have seen the signs. He should have known.

 

Running a hand down his face, he tried to figure out what to do. At this point, her emotions were probably battering at her mind looking for any and all ways out. She could not go back to her friends a ticking bomb, ready to explode. It seemed he had another letter to write.

 


	8. Can't Reason it Away

After settling Miss Granger in his parents' old room, Severus went downstairs to write to Dumbledore. Like with his first letter, Dumbledore responded quickly. He acquiesced to Severus' request to keep Miss Granger at his home until he felt she were ready to go back to Hogwarts with the condition that he would be coming to visit her in the morning.

 

After drinking one more glass of firewhiskey he took himself off to his bed. Once he had placed a silencing charm, he allowed his shields to drop again. Like earlier, the guilt and self-loathing hit him like a tangible weight. Like most nights, in the privacy of his rooms he cried himself to sleep wondering if all of this pain would really be worth it at the end of the war.

 

 

Unlike Severus, Hermione didn't even try to sleep. After he had pointed her to the room she'd be using she'd said goodnight and shut the door behind her. Like the rest of the house, this room was dusty and had an air of despair to it. The furniture and walls had damage that obviously came from someone's temper. She thought it best not to dwell on that.

 

She wished she had her wand to clean the sheets that smelled of mold and disuse, but since she didn't she sat on the bed as it was. Taking a deep breath, she felt her occlumency shields. Just behind them she could feel her emotions battering to be let out. She poked at the past day's experiences and found much more pain than she realized there would be.

 

With her shields up, she could be logical. She didn't blame Professor Snape for what he'd done. She thought he'd been a bit too easy on her when she thought about his status as a spy being at stake and was really just grateful to have escaped alive.

 

But just there, behind her shields, was her anger, her blame, her hurt, and her shame. She'd always respected Professor Snape and constantly sought his approval. He had an intelligence that exceeded anyone else in her acquaintance and she'd wanted him to think her worthy of being a witch when she was younger. Now as she grew into her own, that desire became more a desire to be seen as an equal and maybe even someday a friend.

 

She knew logically that he'd said what he did for the benefit of the other Death Eaters, but behind her logic her heart was broken. Logic couldn't stop her from knowing, just knowing, that she was no great beauty. That she wasn't worthy of his praise, acknowledgment, or the long hoped for friendship.

 

Logic likewise couldn't stop her newfound fear of him. Just behind the walls, her mind was in a panic at being just across the hall from the one who had hurt her. He could do it again. There was no one here to stop him and she didn't even have a wand. She knew he didn't enjoy it. He'd had to use a charm just to get it up for Merlin's sake, but that didn't stop her fear.

 

She knew she needed to lower her shields before she saw him again. She couldn't bear to react harshly in front of him. She wanted him to see her strength, not how wretched she really felt. Taking a deep breath, she started to lower them as slowly as she could.

 

Severus awoke some time later to the sound of crying and jumped up from his bed. He'd not bothered to strip for bed, so he sprinted straight across the hall. When he wrenched the door open, his heart stuttered in his chest. 

Miss Granger sat on the floor by his parents' bed with a pillow stuffed in her mouth as she shook uncontrollably. The pillow didn't do much to block the sound as she cried pitifully. He stepped forward only to be shocked still by her voice. “Don't!” She cried. “Don't look at me. G-go Aw-away! Please!”

 

His shields snapped up more forcefully as he replied quietly, “Of course. My apologies for disturbing you. If you should require anything-” His voice trailed off as he turned to go, but before he could leave she said, “wait! My wand. Do you know where-”

 

Cursing himself yet again Severus replied, “I'll return with it in a moment.” He shut the door behind him and went down to the sitting room to retrieve her wand from inside his death eater robes. He checked it for curses and then just stared at it for a moment. It felt so wrong to hold something so pure and full of light with his tainted hands, but also so comforting. 

 

Shaking himself from his thoughts he went upstairs to return it to it's rightful owner. When he knocked, she opened the door herself. Now that she'd stopped crying, the shaking continued and he realized it was from the cruciatus she had endured. He'd not noticed before, because her occlumency shields were in place.

 

He handed her wand to her and cleared his throat, “Are your shields fully lowered?” At her nod, he tried to figure out how to get her to accept treatment for the aftershocks. He knew she wouldn't want him to help her. Perhaps he could get Cissy to return and help her. When he didn't say anything, but continued standing there she gave him a pained smile and said “Well thank you for my wand. I'll try not to disturb you again.”

 

He put his hand on the door, before she could close it in his face. “Wait Miss Granger. You're obviously in pain. What do you know of the after effects of the cruciatus?”, He asked. “I know that's why I'm shaking, if that's what you're asking.” She replied confusedly.

 

“No. I'm asking what you know of treatment.” He answered in what could almost be mistaken for gentleness if one knew what gentleness from Severus Snape sounded like. “Nothing, Sir.” She replied. He had hoped she would know. It would make it easier. However, since she didn't, he would teach her. 

 

All gentleness faded from his face, as he assumed his teaching persona. “There is no cure for the aftershocks, but there is a treatment. They will eventually fade on their own after a few months, but until then the more skin to skin contact you have the less pain you will be in.” 

 

Before he could continue, she stepped backward. A clear sign not to touch her. He knew she'd feel that way, but somehow he felt a twinge of sadness and guilt regardless. Clearing his throat again, he continued brusquely, “I could fetch Narcissa for you or if you have someone else you'd like?” 

 

When she shook her head, he was at a loss. “Then what would you do Miss Granger? I know personally how painful it is and yours in combined with other injuries.” She looked at him silently for so long he thought she'd not answer, but then she took his hand and led him to the bed.

 

He was so shocked that he didn't respond until she shakily started to undo her robed. He placed his hand on top of hers and this time the gentleness couldn't be mistaken as he said “Stop. I'll fetch whoever you ask for. Don't force yourself. You don't want me to touch you.” She looked up at him with tear filled eyes and said, “Mrs. Malfoy”.

 


	9. Unexpected Invitation

Being spooned by Mrs. Malfoy wearing nothing but their underthings while she cried and shook should have been awkward for Hermione, but it wasn't. She was just so grateful that the woman had arrived so quickly after Professor Snape had contacted her. She had apparated outside the house and had the door firmly shut between them and the professor before Hermione had even fully thought out her choice.

 

Now Narcissa was crooning in her ear that it would be alright soon, that the pain wouldn't last forever. Merlin, but it felt as if it would never end. Perhaps she should raise her shields in order to regain a bit of her composure. Just as she thought this Mrs. Malfoy murmured, “It's for the best to get this all out now you know. If you hide behind your walls you could end up as bitter and insane as those of us on the other side of this war. You're too good for that.”

 

Hermione didn't really know what to say to that, but words spilled from her mouth before she thought better. “Then why don't you change sides? If you don't hate someone like me enough to let me suffer-” “Because it isn't that simple, little Gryffindor. I cannot allow my family to die for my beliefs. My son must live when the dust is settled.”, Narcissa interrupted.

 

Hermione turned so that she was facing Narcissa and after searching her face for a moment said, “He won't win. It can't be allowed. But when the dust settles, I'll remember this. I promise.” Narcissa's only response was a small smile filled with such sadness and just a touch of hope.

 

 

Narcissa ended up spending the night and by morning Miss Granger was feeling much better. Severus had just closed the door behind Cissy when his mark began to burn. He sprinted over to the cupboard he kept his death eater robes in, but cursed as he saw Lucius' eagle owl tapping at his window. The letter wouldn't be from Lucius.

 

Reading the missive hurriedly, Severus cursed again. It simply said _Bring your new toy._ After shooting a patronus off to Dumbledore, he took the stairs two at a time. Once outside her door, he took a deep breath and fortified his occlumency shields before knocking.

 

Miss Granger bade him enter and he was relieved to see her fully dressed and composed. However it wouldn't do for The Dark Lord to see her in Cissy's robes, so he transfigured them into a much plainer and looser design in black. He regretted not asking permission immediately after she flinched, but he didn't have time to be human just now.

 

Forcing himself to sound emotionless, he commanded, “Come, we've been summoned. Raise your shields and don't look up from the floor unless I tell you to. If The Dark Lord uses l egilimency on you, you must show him this memory.” He hesitated before adding, “I sincerely apologize.”

 

Before Hermione had time to react, Professor Snape had struck her across the cheek hard, causing her to fall. As he loomed over her he hissed, “Do not question me again. When we return I will punish you more adequately.” He then turned as if he would storm out the door, but stopped in the threshold breathing deeply.

 

When he turned back around, Hermione was still cowering with tears streaming down her face. He slowly walked up to her to help her up, but she flinched harshly away from him. Sighing he said, “You must raise your shields now Miss Granger. I cannot promise to bring you back unharmed, but I will do my best to protect you from the worst of it.” 

 

Hermione took three deep breaths to calm the sobs that were wracking her body and then stood, feeling guilty for not allowing the professor to help her up. She closed her eyes long enough to assess her shields and place her newest memory of abuse right in front of them. Opening her eyes, she nodded grimly to her professor and allowed him to grab her by the arm to disapparate. 

 


	10. A violation of mind

Severus steadied Miss Granger as they popped into existence at Malfoy Manor once again. Though her face turned an alarming shade of gray, she didn't vomit the little bit of toast and oatmeal Narcissa had gotten her to eat earlier that morning. The girl kept her eyes trained on the floor as they entered the drawing room where The Dark Lord held court.

 

“Ah Severusss, so good of you to join us today”, the megalomaniac crooned. Severus forced Miss Granger down to kneel with him as he responded, “It is a pleasure to be called upon again so soon My Lord.” A scaly hand bade them rise as Voldemort replied, “I'm so glad you could bring the entertainment today. I had wondered if that bastard would lock her away at Hogwarts away from you.”

 

Shaking his head slowly Severus said, “No. Fortunately, Dumbledore agreed that I was able to...care for her myself.” The last was said with a smirk in Miss Granger's direction. “How would you have her entertain you today My Lord?”

 

Voldemort adjusted into a more slouched position in his ornate chair and bade someone behind them to step forward as he said, “I find myself in need of, shall we say, a stimulating diversion.” Severus had trouble not throwing a tantrum as Bellatrix pranced by him to kneel adoringly at Voldemort's feet. Of-fucking-course that's what the sick fuck wanted.

 

Forcing his face into a slimy smirk he turned to Miss Granger, using the motion to cast the charm to make himself erect. “Well lets stimulate him, shall we Miss Granger?”, He drawled as he crossed behind her trailing his fingers across her shoulders. Hermione felt his magic brush up against her, but had no clue as to what spell it was. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back and commanded, “look at me”.

 

There was no warning as he wordlessly forced past her shields into her mind. In the space of a heartbeat he relayed what would happen and asked that she lower her shields partially to better show her emotions to Voldemort.

 

He withdrew from her mind and wiped his mouth and then did the most curious thing. He kissed her. As his lips crashed against hers he tickled her side causing her to gasp. As her lips parted she tasted a sweet substance fill her mouth and within a moment everything seemed to blur around the edges. He'd slipped her a potion. But the question was what potion.

 

He had shown her what degrading things he had planned for her, but he hadn't shown her this. As Hermione's mind worked furiously to identify the potion in question, she felt herself slip to her knees and her attention snapped back to the matter at hand. Why had she gotten to her knees? She looked up at Professor and there in his expression she saw the answer for just a moment, before his face was once again expressionless.

 

The potion was telling her what to do next. No it was the spell. She felt a nudge inside her mind and though he hadn't spoken she knew he'd been answering her. “ _It was the combination._ ” Though he was directing her with what to do next, Hermione could tell that if she fought the suggestions she could disobey him. This wasn't the imperious. She wasn't sure if that were better or worse.

 

As the last button on his trousers popped open with a snap and her professor's manhood sprang forward, Hermione darted a panicky look to him. “ _Not again. Not without my shields. Please Sir._ ” She felt his magic caress along hers, soothing her. “ _I will be as swift as I can Miss Granger. You can do this. I believe in you. We will both walk out of here._ ”

 

As he babbled these things into her mind, distracting her from her fear, he pulled her towards him by her hair. She felt the nudge once again and she chocked on a sob as she opened her mouth to him. As he forced himself into her mouth, her mind wandered to Ron for just a moment. She'd done this for him once when he'd wanted to sleep together. She hadn't been ready, so he'd settled for a blow job. He'd told her she'd been great at it. Outstanding he'd joked.

 

Shame filled her anew and it took her a moment to realize it wasn't her own. “ _You could close your eyes. If it would make it easier to remember him.” “No!”_ Her response was forceful and raw, ringing in her mind. She looked up at him with pain filled eyes as he thrust in and out of her mouth. Not able to hold her gaze and fearing The Dark Lord growing bored, he shoved her away.

 

As she fell on her hands, her circled behind her and shoved her robes up over her bottom. He ripped her knickers, not bothering to remove them and she felt his magic wash over her core. This new spell made her feel hot and a bit short of breath.

 

As he shoved into her, instead of the pain she expected, she felt a strange new sensation. Little gasps escaped her without her permission as he rocked into her over and over. “ _What is this?_ ” She felt his hesitation as he answered, “ _I didn't want you to be in more pain than necessary.” “But what IS this. What did you do to me?”_ Merlin even in her mind she was breathless. 

“ _I cast_ _concitationis_ ” Hermione thought for a moment before letting out a scandalized gasp. “ _You- you- I'm AROUSED_?” As her question rang out in her mind, his movements became more eratic and she knew he would finish soon. Funny, she didn't feel as relieved as she thought she should.

 

Just as that thought gave her pause she heard a cackle outside her mind that made her skin crawl. “It looks like the little mudblood adjusted to your cock quickly Snape”, Bellatrix cooed. Professor Snape's fingers dug into her hips just a bit harder as his anger filled her mind. “ _Ignore her Miss Granger. It's almost over. You've done so well._ ”

 

Any arousal she'd felt previously evaporated at this. Against her volition, her mind turned to the first time she was here. How afraid she had been behind her shields. Though her body hadn't shown it, her mind was screaming in fear.

 

When Professor Snape had stepped foward to ask for her, she'd been so relieved. She wasn't a fool, she'd known he'd have to harm her, but not in that way. She'd have never have guessed in that way. After everything she had suffered that night she'd still been intact. What he was forced to do took her from injured to broken.

 

She had hoped her first time would be romantic and maybe a little sweet, like any girl. It had been hard and merciless, but thankfully quick. His hands hadn't strayed much and he'd not drawn it out. The act itself hurt her less than his words that now echoed in her mind again at his commendation only a moment ago. “ _I may even award you the coveted praise you always desired from me, though I sincerely doubt you have much to offer._ ”

 

She'd felt him mentally flinch at that. She knew in an instant that he'd not even considered that his words days before had hurt her so. She felt waves and waves of his guilt and regret as he finally gave a last shuddering thrust. He pulled himself free from her and began buttoning his trousers and she felt his seed leak out of her.

Unsure if she were allowed to move, she was thankful when he mentally directed her to sit kneeling with her eyes trained on the floor before her. Voldemort spoke to Professor Snape for a moment, but her attention was focused internally until he directed her to stand.

 

“ _You're to be left with Bellatrix for a moment, but she's been ordered not to harm you while we talk privately.”_ And with that she was left alone with the most sadistic person in her acquaintance save Voldemort himself.

 


	11. Help can always be found

After the men walked out Bellatrix skipped forward with her hands behind her back. She smiled as she said, “We'll have such fun mudblood. I'm going to break you in ways you've not yet been broken.” At Hermione's shocked look, she cackled gleefully. “You didn't really think I'm forbidden from touching you, did you? Our Lord just didn't want Snape to worry I'd break you entirely. No, as long as you're breathing and you're not in the Janus Thickey ward, I'm allowed my fun poppet.

 

Bellatrix twirled her wand and bound Hermione and then began dancing around her as she cast curses and hexes that set her nerve endings afire. She tried to raise her occlumency shields fully, but was unable to concentrate under the onslaught. Just as she'd voided her bladder from the pain of yet another crucio, Bellatrix pulled a wicked looking knife from her belt. 

 

Hermione struggled frantically as Bellatrix straddled her hips and jerked the sleeve of her robes up. Finally, finally, she raised her shields fully just as she felt the blade kiss the skin of her forearm. At first she'd thought she'd meant to slit her wrist, but as her brain worked through the pain lighting her veins like napalm, she realized the twisted cunt was carving a design into her flesh.

 

As hoarse screams were torn from her, she begged for death. Her pleas went unanswered, but after an eternity Bellatrix seemed to be done. She cast a vicious tergeo and then gazed adoringly at her work. When Hermione failed to give the masterpiece her attention, Bellatrix roughly dug her nails into her face and forced her to view the word branded upon her flesh. The nasty word that followed her from childhood:  _**Mudblood** _ . 

 

Bellatrix shoved her sleeve back down and released her just as Professor Snape stepped into the room once more. Too hoarse to cry anymore and to weak to move, Hermione just lay staring into space. Now that he was close again, she could feel Professor Snape in her mind once more. Not wanting him to see what the psycho had done to her she slammed him out of her mind forcefully.

 

 

Momentarily stunned by both the sudden ejection from Miss Granger's mind and the state she was in, Severus quickly recovered and drew himself to his full height. “I thought Our Lord asked you not to touch my pet?”, he asked imperiously. “Oh give over Snape. I didn't do any serious damage, you can still fuck her with a few cuts and bruises.” and with that she shoved past him and out the door.

 

Taking in the sight of her, Severus shook himself and strode forward to get her and get out before more calamity could befall her. He was met with no resistance from the girl as he gently lifted her and carried her off the grounds and disapparated to his childhood home. 

 

He was met immediately by Dumbledore's patronus, “Inform me promptly of your return. I will meet you there upon your word. Harry and Ron have returned and an order meeting has been called.” Ignoring Dumbledore for the moment he sat Miss Granger on the sofa so that he could once again address her injuries. 

 

She remained passive as he tended the cuts and bruises on her face and neck, but when he reached to address whatever wound lay beneath her bloodied sleeve she violently jerked free of his grip and her occlumency failed her as she hysterically begged him not to touch her.

 

He only caught flashes of deep seated shame and bitterness and her crying while Bellatrix held her down before he withdrew to her outer shields. He had no wish to violate her privacy further, but the spell wouldn't wear off for quite a while.

 

“Miss Granger, please allow me to help you. I know it hurts, but if I don't tend it, it won't heal properly.”, Severus pleaded. His tone snapped Hermione out of her fit and she focused on the man in front of her. Severus Snape did not plead. His face for once was not expressionless, but looked rather grief-stricken. Mentally kicking herself she responded quietly, “I'll tend it myself. Could I have some dittany and a pain reliever please?” He sighed in relief and turned to fetch the potions for her. When he returned, her shaking had set in once more.

 

Hesitating he said, “Narcissa won't be able to get away again so soon.” He handed the potions to her and turned to give her a small amount of privacy. He heard the unmistakable hissing of dittany doing it's job as he continued.“Is there someone else I could get you?” As she quietly answered in the negative he cursed loudly before going to the sidebar for a drink.

 

Hermione was startled with the pain potion halfway to her lips when her professor uttered a phrase she'd only ever heard from the boys when particularly upset about losing a grudge match to Slytherin. She couldn't stop the giggle that erupted from her. 

 

She just barely managed to pull her sleeve over her cuts that the dittany refused to heal before he turned to her with a scowl on his face. He chugged his very full glass of firewhiskey and then, after obviously debating with himself, poured another glass and handed it to her. She felt a warm chuckle inside her mind as she choked on her first taste of alcohol. 

 

Shrugging good naturedly, she forced the rest down in three eye watering gulps. Almost immediately she felt a warmth very similar to the arousal she'd felt earlier, but seated in her chest rather than her core. After making this observation mentally, she was startled when Professor Snape darted from the room.

 

She heard him thunder up the stairs and slam a door. Wondering if he was alright, she followed him. Standing outside the loo, she heard him vomiting. Knocking softly she called, “Sir, can I get you anything? Do you have a anti-nausea potion?” 

 

After a moment she heard the toilet flush and the sink running and then he opened the door mumbling, “No, I'm fine Miss Granger. You shouldn't be moving around so much after the ordeal you've had today.” His manner was really starting to concern Hermione. She was unsure if he weren't acting himself or if he was allowing her to see what was normally hidden. 

 

Clearing his throat he said, “You should go get some rest. I'll go report to Dumbledore. You still want to keep this secret from him I assume?” As she nodded, he continued to stare at her and she belatedly realized she was blocking the doorway. As she shuffled out of the doorway he moved swiftly past her. If she didn't know better she would say he was embarrassed.

 

Just as he reached the stairs she asked inside her mind, just past her shields, “ _Will you help me with the aftershocks after you speak to The Headmaster_ ?” Faltering on the step, he continued on without answering her.

 

A few moments later as she dressed for bed in some things that Narcissa had left her, she felt him answer her. “ _If a better option does not present itself, I will always help you Miss Granger._ ” She lay in the bed and pulled her wand from under the pillow where she'd left it earlier that day and sent a patronus to Harry and Ron to tell them she was fine and that Professor Snape was taking care of her.

 


	12. Absolved, but Guilty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first work will be over soon. After it is complete, there will be a sequel which is post war.

Hermione awoke just as the sun was beginning to peak through the moth eaten curtains. As she came out of the loo, she heard the hushed voices of Professors Dumbledore and Snape. She started down the creaky stairs towards the kitchen where they were, but before she could hear what they were discussing Professor Snape cleared his throat and said, “Good morning Miss Granger. Would you like some breakfast?”

 

Hermione nodded her thanks and removed the stasis from a full English that clearly came from Hogwarts. She still didn't have much of an appetite, but both professors were looking at her so intently and The Headmaster had gone to such trouble to bring her something. She felt it would be rude to not at least attempt to eat it. Avoiding the heavier items, she began to nibble on the toast.

 

Both men before her seemed to internally sigh with relief. Well, in the case of Professor Snape, she knew this to be true. She could still feel him, just there, past her shields protecting her memories and emotions. As she took another small nibble of her toast, a strong shudder ran through her. “ _And here I had hoped the aftershocks would have mercy today._ ”

 

Professor Snape looked at her sharply with concern, but did not communicate back. The Headmaster contemplated her with compassionate and slightly less twinkling eyes. “I was just telling Professor Snape that I feel it in your best interest to move you to Grimmauld Place. If You-Know-Who were to summon him again, he could tell him he couldn't take you.”, he said.

 

She looked to her Professor and he countered, “And I was telling The Headmaster though it's a sound plan that he will have to find someone else to knock around the mutt's house with you. I refuse to be holed up there Albus. Have Minerva stay with Miss Granger. I'm sure she would find that much more palatable.” At this The Headmaster raised an eyebrow and said simply, “My word is final Severus. Unless you object Miss Granger?”

 

As he stood to leave, all Hermione could manage was a weak, “No Sir.” “Marvelous. Then it's settled. See Severus, Miss Granger feels perfectly safe in your hands.”, he responded patting Professor Snape on the back and ignoring his stricken look. Before Severus could open his mouth to argue further, Dumbledore apparated away. “My apologies Miss Granger. It seems you'll be made to suffer my presence for a bit longer.”, he said dejectedly.

 

Rather than respond aloud, Hermione pushed the thought out to greet him by her shields. “ _I'm sorry, Sir. I should have complained. Perhaps then he wouldn't have forced me on you._ ” His only response was to look at her incredulously and she felt a distinct impression of self-loathing.

 

 

They arrived a few hours later at Grimmauld Place and set out in opposite directions to find rooms. Severus initially planned to sequester himself in the attic room he frequented during Order meetings, but then thought better of it. He chose a room on the same floor as the girl, but farthest away. This way he was accessible should she need anything, but hopefully she'd not feel threatened by his nearness.

 

Severus was just unpacking his things as a timid knock sounded at his door. He opened the door to a shaking Hermione Granger. “Please”, was all she said as she looked at him in agony. He ushered her inside his room and shut the door behind them. He clenched and unclenched his fists as she shakily began to undress. Merlin, but he hated this.

 

He turned to give her privacy as he shed his waistcoat and began to unbutton his cuffs. As a particularly strong shudder ran through her, he decided to forgo his buttons and pulled his shirt over his head. Deciding to leave his trousers on, he guided her to the bed and lay down behind her with his arms wrapped around her shivering frame.

 

They lay in awkward silence for quite a while until he felt her welcome him past the point where her shields usually stood. He had no desire to violate her privacy further, but if she were inviting him it could hardly be called a violation. As his consciousness neared hers, he felt her warm gratitude mixed with the sharp iciness of her sadness. “ _I don't blame you, you know._ ” “ _You should!_ ” was his vehement reply. “ _If you need it....you're forgiven._ ” she offered shyly.

 

“You cannot mean that Miss Granger!”, he said aloud. “But I do Professor.”, she murmured. “I can feel how you feel about what's happened, but surely you realize if you'd not done it I'd have been hurt so much worse.” He tightened his arms around her waist as he whispered, “I should have disobeyed the summons. I should have taken you to Hogwarts and hidden you. The second time should never have happened.”

 

She shook her head at this and said, “you know you couldn't have done that. Your role is much to important to jeopardize for-” Not letting her finish, he said,“YOU are much too important to be jeopardized, tainted, by something so foul. You are quite possibly the brightest student I have ever...” He trailed off for a moment before quietly saying, “I am so sorry Miss Granger.”

 

Hermione knew immediately what he was apologizing for. While what he'd said that first night had hurt her, the sting faded from it when she had realized he'd never meant for it to hurt so badly. She could still vividly remember how shock had colored his response to her memory of it.

 

“You're forgiven Professor. I believe we've both been hurt enough.”, she said tiredly. Between the aftershocks and the emotional conversation she was exhausted. Her eyes fell closed of the own volition and just as she was drifting off, she heard him vow, “I will do everything in my power to make sure you're not hurt again in such a way Miss Granger.”

 


	13. A Bright New Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of this installment of the series. The second will be a direct continuation of this one, but will be taking a turn you may not expect. Thank you all for all the lovely comments and continued support.

Over the next few following days, Voldemort called Professor Snape twice and was irate that Hermione could not accompany him. The first time he was called, Hermione had been curled up reading in the library when she felt fear and pain not her own. The emotions were quickly cut off from her as he occluded. “ _I shall return. Do not unblock the floo or answer the door in my absence_.”

 

She'd been a nervous wreck by the time he stumbled through the front door bloodied and weak. She guided him to the kitchen where she tended his wounds and held his hand as he shook from the aftershocks of crucio. He'd refused her offer to hold him in bed. She'd been partially exasperated and partially relieved. She'd been surprised that his injuries were the result of Voldemort's boredom, he'd not been.

 

The second time he'd been called, he'd been gone a much shorter time and returned much less bloodied, but shaking nonetheless. During the week they'd been at Grimmauld they'd formed a tentative friendship, if that were the word to use. She felt much less leery of her professor after waking up one night knowing, just knowing, that he was sobbing pitifully on the other end of the house. She wanted to go to him, but knew he'd not appreciate it. For the first time since being taken to Malfoy Manor, her tears had very little to do with her own pain.

 

 

Now she sat curled up in her usual place in the library while Professor Snape brewed potions down in the cellar. She was startled from a particularly interesting book called Charms For Emotional Influence by Harry's Patronus trotting into the room. “ _All the Horcruxes save the snake are eliminated. We'll be confronting him within the hour. Be prepared.”_ With that his deer galloped off to the dungeon to alert the professor.

 

Jumping into action, Hermione accio'ed her beaded bag and checked it for all the essentials she'd been stowing away in it for the past year. As Professor Snape stepped into the room, she nodded to him and they both headed for the floo calling out The Headmaster's office.

 

 

The battle had been gruesome and nothing could have prepared Hermione for the carnage. She'd lost Professor Snape almost immediately in the fray. Thankfully the younger children had been taken away by Professor McGonagall. She'd watched Remus and Tonks be killed, though she'd not found out about Fred until later.

 

As Harry had gone off to face Voldemort, Hermione had looked desperately for Professor Snape. She'd finally found him laying in a pool of blood. Rushing forward she checked for a pulse. His eyes fluttered open just as she'd found it. He tried to speak, but only managed to gurgle on the blood. She shushed him as she reached for his beaded bag and began pouring potions down his throat and onto his neck.

 

She kept repeating in her mind the same soothing nonsense as she worked. “ _You can't die. I can't let you. It's my turn to save you. You're going to be just fine. It's not as bad as it looks_.” She felt his fear turn to gratitude. He'd not wanted to die alone. He always knew he'd not survive, but to have just one person care that he died made it easier somehow. He slipped into darkness as he pushed his thought forward. “ _Thank you Miss Granger. I'm sorry to once again be the cause of your tears._ ”

 

 

Thankfully, Hermione had gotten The Drought of The Living Dead into him in time. After a few months of care under Madam Pomfrey Severus Snape had made a miraculous recovery. Though the school matron had been helped along the way by Severus Snape's bushy haired friend. Yes, though he could hardly believe it, He had come to see Miss Granger as a friend.

 

Neither ever told anyone about what had occurred between them upon Voldemort's orders, so no one really questioned it when she spent hour upon hour in his hospital room. After his true allegiance was confirmed, no one questioned Severus Snape's new gentler disposition either.

 

After being released from care, Severus was unsure what to do with himself. Albus assured him that he was most welcome to stay on and teach at Hogwarts and if The Daily Prophet were to be believed, there were some who didn't loath him quite as much as they had before his part in the war had been revealed.

 

Though it was embarrassing for the general public to know of his unrequited love for his childhood friend, he felt a burden lifted from him. For the first time in over twenty years, Severus Snape felt like he could be himself. Now he just needed to figure out who that was.

 

His first reaction when Potter had come to see him while he was recovering had been to eviscerate the boy and send him away, but then he'd remembered he didn't have to portray a severe loathing for the boy. He'd cleared his throat and invited the boy to sit. If nothing else, he'd gotten an entertaining reaction from the boy. He was still trying to determine which fish the boy reminded him of.

 

The first few visits didn't last long, as Severus had almost no strength and grew tired embarrassingly quickly. Thankfully Miss Granger or Poppy always seemed to know just when to show up. The boy had apologized to him, as had many others.

 

He'd wanted to know about his mother from Severus' perspective. He'd listened greedily and one day Severus surprised them both by speaking of James as well. Though he still thought the man a bully and a git, he found he did have a few anecdotes to relate to his son that weren't focused on the trouncing of one Severus Snape.

 

Severus found himself content for the first time in his life, so long as he didn't dwell on anything that occurred before the final battle. Most days this was much easier than he would have ever thought possible. Then again, there were days when he saw Miss Granger shy away from the touch of her male friends and the nights he woke up choking on his own tears after dreaming of the times he had hurt her or others.

 

Nevertheless, Severus felt the future was...bright. For both Miss Granger and himself.

 


End file.
